10 Reasons Why Everyone Is Mean And Unkind To You (And What To Do)

Things You Should Know  Some people are not good at expressing their feelings and end up looking rude or mean.  Rude or mean people are in dire need of seeking social power. This can be a sign of bullying.  By putting people down, people usually cover their own insecurities, such people feel intimidated by others which results in rude or mean behavior.  People with low emotional regulation skills often keep strong emotions such as rude behavior, passive aggression, frustration, and more.  If you’re constantly struggling with question “why everyone is being mean to me”, know that it’s not you; you’re not accountable for other’s actions. Ignorance can be the best key to deal with such people.

No one likes being mistreated but at once in your life, you meet someone who would be mean and rude to you. This is an experience you can’t escape. Whenever you think about the situation, you end up juggling with the same question, “Why is everyone being mean to you?”

The reasons why everyone is mean to you can vary a lot. And the worst part is that you can’t know when this will happen. However, if you feel everyone is being mean to you, there could be some reasons why this happens and what you can do about it.

First things first, if you are thinking “why is everyone being mean to you”, then know that this question is valid. It’s important to question everything but also give voice to what you feel is wrong. You should know that there is no need to put up with people who are always angry with you, who mistreat you, and who take their frustrations out on everyone near them.

Below, I’ve listed some reasons why everyone is being mean to you and how you can deal with them.

“Why Is Everyone So Mean To Me?” 10 Possible Reasons

Here are some reasons why everyone is being mean and unkind to you:

1. They Have Poor Communication Skills

Some people don’t know how to express their feelings and needs respectfully so they panic easily and get defensive. This defensive behavior can make them seem rude and mean to everyone. This is often born out of fear of being ignored so to them, aggression and insults seem an easy way out.

2. They Do It To Gain Social Power

If someone is being mean to you then it could be a way to gain control and power over a situation or you. This is often a ruse to show social control and dominance. For many, it is a coping mechanism, and reacting aggressively and saying mean things gives them some semblance of control. This is most common in people who’ve been victims of bullying in the past.

Also Read: Bullying In The Workplace: The Effects Of Workplace Bullying (And How To Deal With It)

3. They Feel Insecure

I’m not joking. Many people find their self-confidence by putting others down. They feel insecure enough to constantly remind themselves that they are better than you. This often looks like passive-aggressiveness, sarcasm, and rude remarks. These people lack self-confidence and feel intimidated frequently so this leaves them with no choice but to be mean to others.

4. They Are Resentful Or Jealous Towards You

If everyone is being mean to you then it could be because they hold feelings of resentment and jealousy. It could be because you intimidate them or make them feel threatened so they respond rudely to you to hide their discomfort. The relationship you have with the person here matters a lot but it doesn’t mean that you’re responsible for their feelings.

5. They Feel Like They Are Superior

Some people believe that their social status gives them the right to be rude and patronizing to anyone who they consider inferior to them. This can be very subtle but still rude. These people are toxic and can harm your self-esteem if you stay around them daily. Here, you can avoid being with them and avoid starting conversations with them.

Also Read: How To End A Toxic Friendship and Move On?

6. They Had A Bad Day

While having a bad day is no excuse for someone mistreating you or disrespecting you, it can still make many people react negatively. When someone is in a bad mood or stressed beyond their limits, it can make them react negatively and lose control of their behavior. This can make them lash out with mean comments at innocent people. If you encounter this situation, you can ask them about their issues and tell them that their behavior is hurting your feelings.

Also Read: 12 Tips To Start Living In The Present Moment

7. They Have Poor Emotional Regulation Skills

People with low emotional regulation and a low tolerance for strong emotions such as frustration, anger, etc. can also make mean remarks and can be unkind to you. These people might or might not regret their actions later but when their strong emotions are heightened, they can lash out and react with mean actions or comments.

8. They Have Poor Self-Awareness

Then some people just have poor self-awareness and are not even aware that they are being mean to everyone around them. Their actions do not stem from malice but a lack of self-awareness about social cues. People diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder can appear and sound mean and rude but they are simply unaware of the social cues around them and react how they feel best.

9. They Disagree With Your Opinions

Everyone has a different opinion and view – intellectually or politically – and while those views are yours, others might not share the same with less hostility. If someone is mean to you then it could mean that they disagree with your opinions. This does not mean that you should stop expressing your views just because you don’t want to be mistreated or disrespected. This is just another reason why someone is mean to you.

Also Read: To React or To Respond? That Is The Question

10. They Don’t Care About Respecting Others

Sometimes people have no interest in respecting others or appearing civil with others. They simply don’t care about treating other people respectfully. They don’t like having friends or being socially accepted so they don’t have any motivation to respect others.

Effective Ways to Deal with Mean or Rude People 

Below listed are some of the effective ways to deal with mean or rude people in the workplace, personal settings, and others: 

1. Avoid taking things personally, even if they sound personal. Remember, the goal is to not give power or control to rude or mean people.

2. Find out the reason why someone is being mean or rude to you constantly. If it’s their personality, let it go because focusing on such people will never resolve your problems. 

3. Focus on your goals, and analyze the rudeness only when you can sense personal problems related to it. Otherwise, focus on ignoring. 

4. Avoid joining the drama group, instead, let your strengths shine in and keep your dignity and self-respect intact. 

5. Let the talk drop on its own and learn to walk away even when they are still talking about you. 

6. Rudeness can be unintentional sometimes, therefore, lend some help to the concerned person and try to resolve their frustration behind their rudeness or meanness. 

7. Bring positive changes only when it’s required. Don’t try to change people who are not willing to accept. 

8. Stay kind and positive, and wait for karma. 

9. Set strict boundaries, and stand against bullying so that no one can impact your mental health again.

What Can You Do?

No one should be mistreated but if you are then it’s not your responsibility. Keep in mind that people making those mistakes and who are being mean to you are at fault. If you’re thinking, “Why is everyone mean to me?” then it’s not about you nor because of you. The reason lies with the person mistreating you, not with you. You can only control what it means for you.

You are not accountable for others’ mean actions. You can help yourself by understanding that other’s mean actions have reasons and you are not responsible for those reasons, either. It’s best if you ignore the sarcastic comments, unsolicited opinions, and mean remarks. You can always ignore those who mistreat you.

When to seek help?

A lot of people asked when to seek help. Well, in my opinion, unkind ways such as meanness or rudeness impact our mental health directly. The first step is to understand the root cause behind meanness or rudeness.

Are they struggling with some trauma or are they able to recognize their behavior? Working through such causes may help someone seek help effectively.

If you think you’re being rude or mean to someone, you can connect with a mental health professional or explore an online intensive outpatient program to understand the root causes behind it and to learn healthy coping techniques. To connect with an experienced and registered mental health professional through online platforms, click below:

Quick Takeaway: Understand the Difference! 

Some people are rude or mean and it can be seen in their personality. However, there are some people who are unintentionally rude or mean, they might be scared, traumatized, or shy.

The truth is some people are rude unintentionally and intentionally. In order to deal with such people, you must know the difference between unintentional and intentional rudeness.

Someone who is actually mean to you might do such things on purpose and someone who does not want to be mean and still end up looking mean might want to control their urge to hurt you or others. 

You can also share your thoughts and feelings with us in the comments section below!

Take care!