Ever Feel Like You’re Not Good Enough? Here’s What You Need To Know
Last Update on March 2, 2023 : Published on November 12, 2021
I have struggled with the feeling of not being good enough for a really long time. Sometimes I still find myself in that not-good-enough zone but it’s better when you know how to get out of it. Have you been struggling with the same feeling?
If yes, you have come to the right place. In this article, we will talk about why you always feel like you are not good enough. What can be the reason behind it and how can you stop feeling like you can never be good enough for anything.
Did you know if you constantly remind yourself that “I am not good enough” then you are sending similar vibes to other people? This means that others might also begin to believe that you are actually not good enough.
So if you want others to believe in you, you need to tell yourself that you are good enough!
Want to know why you feel this way?
Reasons Behind Feeling like “I am not good enough”
1. You may have distorted core belief
We all have certain core beliefs on which our each and every reaction, thought and feelings are based. If you are struggling with a nagging feeling of not belonging good enough then it’s possible that you are governed by ‘worthlessness’ core belief.
2. Critical inner voice
If you have a critical or judgmental inner voice then that voice is sure to remind you of all the times you failed. Not once will it remind you of the things you are good at. This judgmental inner voice will convince you that you aren’t good at anything.
3. Your friends are critical about you
You might always feel like you are not good enough if you have surrounded yourself with people who are always critical about you. Their critical comments on your achievements and failures break your confidence, making you feel miserable.
Also Read: Are You In A Toxic Friendship? | Signs & Types Of Toxic Friends You Need To Look Out For!
4. Critical, over-demanding parents
When you were a child were your parents’ expectations too high? If yes, they might have been disappointed in you quite a lot. This is a major reason most people feel like they aren’t good enough even when they are good at most things.
5. Unstable and unsafe childhood
There are many of us who had an unstable childhood. As children, we tend to believe that we are the reason for things not falling in place. We believe that it’s our responsibility to keep the family happy together.
6. Distant parents
If your parents were distant while you were growing up, it’s highly possible for you to develop attachment issues. These issues make you believe that there is something lacking in you that’s why people don’t come close to you.
7. Past traumatic experience
Other than poor parenting and unstable childhood, a trauma in the past can also make you develop problematic core beliefs resulting in making you feel like you’re not good enough.
These are some of the reasons why you might feel like you’re not good enough. There can be other triggers too depending on your personal experiences. All you have to do is identify the reason that is affecting you and try to ease yourself and believe in yourself.
Ways to Stop Thinking That You are Not Good Enough
1. Stop comparing yourself to others
The first thing you have to do is to stop all the comparisons and elevation of yourself on the basis of other’s achievements.
2. Count your achievements
You are not made up of only failure. Whenever you feel like you are not good enough, think of all the time you made a difference. Recollects all your achievements and high points.
3. Participation is important than winning
Make it a practice that you focus on the process and not on what’s going to happen next. That’s not your problem, you focus on working hard and the result will come to you in some form or the other.
4. Talk to your confidant
Whenever you feel low go to your confidant so that they can put some sense back into you (just kidding). A friend or a family member who supports you even when you are at the lowest will help you rise above the feeling of not being good enough.
5. Be altruistic
Being kind and doing something good for someone will give a boost to your self-worth. Altruism is all about helping others without anything in return. It will make you feel like you have enough power to help someone in need without wanting anything back from them.
6. Ask for help
You can always ask for help if this feeling of not being good enough is hindering your daily functioning. You can visit a family doctor or a trained professional who can provide you with a therapy session to help you ease the pain.
Endnote
Feeling like you’re not good enough is the worst feeling in the world. Especially when your friends and family make you feel this way. It puts you in a miserable place but do you really deserve to feel this way?
No! No one does. I think we should sit back and relax a lot more than what we do now. You cannot be a jack of all tricks, you will be good and some and bad at some. But remember you are always enough!
Don’t let anyone else dull your sparkle!
I hope this article helps you realize your worth! Don’t let anyone make you believe that you’re not good enough. We are all good enough, in fact, we fit perfectly in our imperfect shell. Don’t say “I am not good enough” instead you can say “I am enough, good enough!”
Thanks for having a good enough read!
Take care and stay safe!
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About The Author
Kirti Bhati
I am an English literature (major) and psychology (minor) graduate from St. Bede’s College, Shimla. Postgraduate in Clinical psychology from IIS University, Jaipur. She has published a Research paper on Music therapy in the military population and Workplace stress in a national seminar conducted by Fortis hospital (gurugram) and international seminar conducted by St. Bede’s College, Shimla, Respectively. Authored a dissertation work on ‘effect of social media addiction on the mental and physical well-being in adolescents’ Currently working at calm sage as a writer.
