Why Bad Memories Stick: Understanding and Managing Emotional Triggers

Do you remember where you were when 9/11 happened, or what were you doing? I vividly remember sitting in my parents’ bedroom watching the news on our small TV set. It was dusk where I was, and I distinctly remember my parents’ stricken expressions.

While I can’t remember what happened two or five years ago on a particular day, I remember this memory. Why?

We can’t remember everything we see, hear, or experience, but remember what’s important to us. In a study published in Current Biology, German researchers asked people to go through a stressful simulation and then analyzed their brain activity as they recalled their stressful experiences.

The results showed that a person’s brain formed closely linked memories of objects in a stressful situation, making them more vivid.

In theory, when you go through a stressful situation, the stress hormone norepinephrine readies the brain to remember what happens to avoid the same in the future. When our stress response is activated, our senses heighten, making it easier to remember specific details of a stressful encounter.

Let’s take a deeper look at how bad memories form, why bad memories stick out in our minds, and how to control the impact of painful memories on your overall health.

How Do Bad Memories Form?

The more you ruminate on a painful memory, the stronger the neural connections that help retain connections grow—the memory sticks in our minds as long as we revisit them repeatedly.

Many people think the older the memory, the more it’ll fade. However, it’s not true. Each time we revisit a painful memory, it becomes active. Memories can change as we recall them and become stronger and more vivid.

For example, when we are young, and something frightens us, the memory of that event may become more frightening as we recall it , causing us to develop a fear response regarding that experience.

Another example is that if you were frightened by a spider when you were young, the memory grew vivid each time you recalled it, and in the end, it resulted in arachnophobia.

Meanwhile, creating humor in an embarrassing memory can turn it into a happy, funny story. With time, it’ll lose the embarrassing factor and become a fun story to tell at social functions.

Why Do Bad Memories Stick?

Researchers say that there are other reasons why bad memories or stressful experiences stick with us for so long. One reason is that the fear response triggered by stressful situations may release different hormones in our bloodstream to prepare us to fight or flee.

When adrenaline is released, it enhances our awareness. Naturally, with heightened awareness, we’re more likely to remember details we may not in normal circumstances.

Another reason why painful memories linger is that these stressful situations teach us some lessons that may come useful in the future. It could be anything, a mistake we made, a relationship we lost, or a risky situation where we were exposed to a threat.

Controlling the Impact of Bad Memories

Depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) are some mental health disorders that can cause you to relieve your painful and negative memories on a loop.

Even if you don’t struggle with these mental health disorders, you can still dwell on memories you’d rather forget.

But how can we control the emotional and mental toll these bad memories take?

Recalling stressful memories can cause us to experience distressing emotions. One of the most recommended ways to control the impact of painful memories on your mind is to seek therapy. Therapy can help you develop practical coping skills to prevent these bad memories from leaving a lasting impression on your emotional response.

You can also use techniques such as journaling, questioning your beliefs about that particular memory, or creating an action plan you can use when exposed to situations that can trigger your painful or stressful memories. Memories are just memories, but they are in your hands if you let them hurt you or heal you.

Healing from Painful Memories: Taking Control of Your Emotional Well-Being

Can’t stop dwelling on painful or stressful memories? You’re not alone. Stressful or painful events can trigger our stress response, causing our senses to heighten and making us more alert to what happens. This can cause bad memories to stick in our minds.

Stressful events can be upsetting, and remembering them can be more disconcerting. If you can’t find peace by writing your painful memories in a journal, you can try seeking out a mental health professional to provide you with support and effective ways to cope with unwanted memories.

Is there a bad memory that sticks out to you again and again? Let me know what you think of terrible memories’ impact on our emotional and mental well-being.

Take Care!