Published In

Depression
Aayushi Kapoor April 25th, 2023 · 8min read

What To Say To Someone Who Has Lost A Parent

Someone appropriately quoted, “Grief is like a long valley, a winding valley where any bend may reveal a totally new landscape.”

Having said that, I can totally understand that the sudden loss of a parent, guardian, or loved one is difficult and heartbreaking. Parents or guardians are the support system that shows us the right path, the sudden loss of parents is linked to grief or sorrow like no other. As a friend, colleague, relative, or loved one, it’s difficult to show our emotions to someone who has lost a parent.

It gets really hard to express sympathy or condolences, and due to this, we sometimes end up in a weird situation! Don’t worry; I have prepared a guide that will help you express your thoughts to someone who has just lost a parent without putting you in an unusual situation.

What to say to someone who has lost a parent

Before beginning, it’s more to remind ourselves that there’s no way to measure grief, especially for someone who has just lost a parent. If you haven’t experienced grief, you may find yourself in a weird situation or loss for words. With the help of this guide, you will be able to offer condolences for the loss of a parent. While doing so, make sure you feel the same from the inside and express your emotions in an effective manner.

What to say to someone who has lost a mother

Losing a parent is extremely difficult, but most of us have an innate and special connection with our mother. Be it a daughter or son, the loss of a mother is difficult to handle and you might have to respond accordingly as this is such a sensitive issue to talk about.

You can also take the help of nonverbal expressions as they express more than words in such sensitive cases. An empathetic exchange, eye contact, a warm hug, or a warm embrace can really work in such situations. Herein, you can also take a look at the stages of grief to understand the grief more deeply and effectively.

Additionally, you can take the help of the below-listed comforting words you can say to someone who has just lost a mother.

  1. “Please accept my sincere condolences for your loss.”
  2. “I want you to know that I am always here to support you.”
  3. “I am struggling to find the right words right now, please know I am always here.”
  4. “Losing a mother is never easy, we all treasured her greatly.”
  5.  “It might be hard to imagine what you’re going through, but always remember I am here to talk.”
  6. “She was such a great woman; we all miss her so much.”
  7. “I hope she is in a better place.”
  8. “I feel so sorry for your loss, how can I help you?”
  9. “Do you need some alone time, I will make sure no one disturbs you.”
  10. “I am always here to support you, if you need anything, let me know.”

What to say to someone who has lost a father

Losing a father is like losing a support system. Be it daughters or sons, both are deeply connected with their fathers. In such cases, it is quite important to not cross any boundaries or to not go overboard.

Also Read: 7 Ways To Build A Support System For Mental Health

If you wish to provide your extended support to someone who has lost a father without stressing someone out, just simply what they need…it can be chores, support, or alone time.

Moreover, you can take the help of the below-listed comforting words you can say to someone who has lost a father.

  1. “I feel so sorry for your loss; please note that you and everyone in your family are in my heart.”
  2. “Please accept my extended and sincere sympathies.”
  3. “He was such a great man; I always looked up to him.”
  4. “I learned so many things from your father; I hope he is in a better place now.”
  5. “Here’s one to the great man, we all miss him so much.”
  6. “How about we play your father’s favorite game, whenever you’re up for it, let me know.”
  7. “Please know that I am here to talk.”
  8. “He was truly a strong man, and he wanted to come out stronger out of all situations.”
  9. “I may be out of words right now, but I always looked up to him, we all loved him.”
  10. “I admire the way your dad lived his life to the fullest, he was a man among men.”

Things to not say to someone who has lost a parent

In order to do so much for our friends, family members, and colleagues, we put ourselves in a strange situation that does not look comforting at all. It’s important to be aware of wrong choices of words as well as they may start questioning your intentions. Here are some statements that you must clearly avoid while speaking to someone who has lost a parent:

  1. “When I lost my mother……”
  2. “Whatever happens… happens for a reason?”
  3. “There is constantly a silver lining.”
  4. “I understand.”
  5. “Relief from suffering is a blessing…..” (Use of long quotes)

How to support someone who has lost a parent

Apart from saying comforting things, you can also show your support in a genuine and compassionate manner by:

1. Going easy

Throughout the process, it’s important to take care of yourself and your friend. If you’re facing difficulty expressing your emotions through words, you can express your sympathy by going easy and reminding yourself that there is no flawless tip to comfort someone who has lost a parent. The best thing you can do is to offer extended support and be available to your friend.

2. Lending support

The best way to express your sympathy is to lend extended support to your friend, loved one, or colleague. You can manage final arrangements to be made or offer help in other practical ways. You can fill up the groceries, cook something for them, or just provide them a chance to relax and process their emotions.

3. Constant checking

After you offer your words or condolences, it’s important to keep a continuous check on them so that they can have your back. Keep checking in and keep it simple, send short texts, or call them directly. If they are not replying, don’t be discouraged, and wait for the right time to talk.

4. Reaching out to them for support

There are so many different ways to comfort someone, you can make them a card, visit them, arrange groceries for them, and more. Depending on the type of relationship, you can offer them support in all ways.

5. Advising them to connect with a mental health professional

If your friend or loved one is having a difficult time dealing with the loss of a parent, you can suggest connecting with a mental health professional. A mental health professional or a therapist can help touch their feelings and find peace within.

How to write a sympathy card for the loss of a parent

If you are facing difficulty confronting your friend, colleague, or loved one…you can take the help in other ways as well.

It’s a fact that grief can make people act differently than their personalities, in such situations; it might be more comfortable or easier to adjust your sympathy or condolences accordingly. To support someone who has lost a parent, you can try:

  • Sending a text
  • Sending a card
  • Sending an email
  • Writing on social media

While writing a card, text, email, a message on social media, make sure the message is short, heartfelt, and comforting to someone who’s grieving.  For example, you can look for more good-to-go texts instead of searching for long quoted texts.  Try choosing a positive wish that does include your experience but a message that acknowledges their pain and shows your presence and support throughout the process.

If you’re sending condolences through digital platforms, make the message short and impactful so that they can understand your support. Do not include typical emotions, just offer simple support.

Key Takeaway: How to choose the right words

When it comes to grieving, each person carries their own understanding, connections, and reactions. Losing a parent is the most difficult phase of life; it can be painful, emotional, and traumatic. Therefore, choosing the right words is the most important part of showing your presence and support.

You must choose the words that fit the intensity of the situation. Rather than saying long phrases, keep them short and concise. The idea is to be extra kind so that it can create a bond and comfort between you two. The chosen words should reflect your bond, understanding, presence, and acknowledgment of the loss.

I hope this blog helps you express your thoughts or condolences to a friend, relative, or colleague who has lost a parent. For more such helpful content, connect with us on all social media platforms.

Thanks for reading!

Leave a comment