What Is Positive Parenting & Why Does it Matter?

To begin with, I think there is a need of getting in sync. Let me ask you a question first, “what do you mean by parents?” Is it only about the role of mothers or fulfilling every demand of your children? 

No, I think it’s all about maintaining a consistent relationship with your child and playing a meaningful role in your children’s life. Unfortunately, our time was different, our parents raised us in a different way and time has completely changed now, so is the parenting style. Ever asked what is the most effective parenting style? 

Positive parenting is the most effective parenting style which provides you guidance and recognition by setting boundaries that fulfill the growth and development of the child (mentally and physically).

What Is Positive Parenting?

Positive Parenting is an approach built on communication & mutual respect. It means, as a parent, we should handle our children as individuals & not take them as our property. The approach focuses on learning, for the future instead of punishing them, for the past occurrences.

Positive Parenting doesn’t only involve teaching children just What but also Who, Where, When & Why of a situation.

According to the research, positive parenting involves: 

Related: Styles Of Parenting And Their Impact On Children

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Let’s discuss the whole concept of Positive Parenting through an example:

James’ 9 years old son Harper comes to him with a problem. Mason, his school friend, who is three years older than him took his Chocolate & a change from a ten-dollar bill at the candy shop. James listens to Harper’s situation & hears his son’s frustration & anger. When Harper was done yelling, James asks him how he wants to handle the whole scenario. Harper tells him that he wants to antagonize Mason, but he should be around him.

Also, throughout the conversation, James did not mention that, Harper did the wrong thing by taking money from his wallet without permission. Nor did he talk about Harper eating sweets when he’d been restricted to eat a limited quantity with permission.

Three hours later, James stands by Harper as he confronts Mason, asks him to pay his remaining change back. Mason’s dad overhears the conversation & makes Mason give the full amount to Harper for his suffering. When the duo (James & Harper) comes back to their house, James tells him how proud he is at how Harper handled the situation on his own.

Both sit down & discuss two rules that were broken & how he can avoid making such blunders in the future.

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[ Why Parent Counselling is The Secret Recipe For A Happy Parent-Child Relationship ]

Breakdown of the Example of Positive Parenting:

(1). James listens to Harper & concentrates on the issue carefully. He even offered his support, while Harper handles the whole situation on his own.

(2). James tried to understand the boy’s feelings & stand for him, before disciplining him about his wrongdoings.

(3). James kept aside his misconduct & pointed them out at an appropriate point & time.

(4). James refocuses on their relationship after the consequences were resolved!

Benefits Of Positive Parenting:

Here are some advantages associated with the power of the positive parenting approach:

1. Builds a stronger bond between you & your child.
2. Enhances mutual respect.
3. Encourage children to communicate; develop trustworthy relationships.
4. Boosts your child’s confidence & self-esteem.
5. Promotes love & affection in your kid.
6. Negative behavior diminishes.
7. Helps to develop your child’s brain to its maximum potential.
8. Sets a positive example for kids.
9. You & your children become more empathetic to better understand the world & others around.
10. Ensures your child will be emotionally healthy.
11. Helps in better school adjustment.
12. Increases motivation.
13. Improves psychological functioning.
14. Reduces depressive symptoms.
15. Increases optimism.
16. Increases social self-efficacy.
17. Increases parental attachment. 
18. Improves social and cognitive skills. 
19. Helps in cognitive development.
20. Improves security.
21. Reduces problematic behaviors.
22. Increases competencies.
23. Develops coping efficacy. 
24. Provides educational goals and job aspirations.
25. Reduces dysfunctional parenting styles.
26. Reduces family stress and conflicts.
27. Improves family cohesion.
28. Develops communication and organization skills.
29. Enhances resilience.
30. Increases emotional regulation.
31. Increases compliance.
32. Increases cognitive abilities.
33. Reduces negativities.
34. Provides willingness to try new things.
35. Improves language development.
36. Reduces risky behaviors.

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Positive Parenting Techniques To Build Healthy Relationship With Your Kids:

Listed are some great tactics that you can follow to practice positive parenting:

1. Remember That You Are The Parent

Being a clear-sighted & compassionate ‘guide’ is way more important than being your child’s friend.  Your job is to prepare them for becoming independent adult. Having just friends with them isn’t enough, they need your moral leadership.

2. Kind & Firm Discipline

One of the most important aspects of Positive Parenting is ‘Respect’ & this should work both ways. Parents need to set some rules & children need to be clear about them, from a very early age. This helps them to build a structure & a routine. Let them adapt to the set boundaries & you’ll find your child not ever fuss about complying with them.

Also Read: How To Set Healthy Boundaries For Yourself & Keep Your Energy Intact

3. Time-Out Yourself

Yes, you heard that right! Being parents, you need to take a time-out yourself when needed. You might get exhausted by your child’s behavior, but you need to calm yourself down & speak to them in a respectful & firm way.

Whenever, you feel that you’re about to lose, speak to your child that you need a moment by yourself because you’re upset. You can go to another room & remind yourself about the ultimate goal of ‘disciplining’.

Also Read: What is “me time” And 8 Ways to Enjoy your “me time”

4. Validate, Empathize & Sympathize

Make sure that your child knows that you’ve heard them. Validating what they need & how they feel. You’ll never be able to successfully get across your point if your child doesn’t feel respected. Nothing is better than having a feeling that ‘Someone is prepared to listen to your side of the story.’ Reassure them that they’ll surely get a fair-minded & sympathetic hearing.

5. Use Positive Reinforcement

Does your child always remember to put their shoes on the rack, after coming back home? Do they help their siblings with their homework, whenever required? Let them know that they are acknowledged!

It’s super-easy to comment on the bad behavior but smiling when they did some good job is more important. Make sure they get more attention for their good behavior than bad.

Also Read: Positive vs Negative Reinforcement: Which Is More Effective?

6. Avoid Shaming

Have you ever used words such as:

‘Don’t act like a baby! Your room is always a mess, go & clean it up! Why you can’t do this, it’s not that hard!?

These statements bring the shaming effect. Don’t make your child feel bad about themselves. This brings a natural negative impact on their self-esteem. Of course, it’s your job to guide them, but let them know in an appropriate way, without inducing the feeling of disgrace.

7. Keep Consistency & Keep Your Word

Kids are very smart, they hold memories! They’ll get to know very easily if you are not consistent in keeping your words. Don’t make them realize that you are full of empty threats, then it would become difficult for them to listen to you in the future. So, if you promise them something special, keep your word. They’ll remember!

8. Talk At The Kid’s Level

Just get down to their eye level & speak to them face to face with full affection, sincerity & respect. Make them realize that you’re always ready to listen & resolve their problems. Having a person, that always stands by, can certainly create positivity within themselves.

Related: Parent’s Guide To Tame Temper Tantrums of Kids

9. Lighten Up!

Jokes & silliness always serves as an excellent distraction. For instance: if your child forgets to pick up the dirty laundry, you could either vent out all the frustration & scold him/her. But a positive parenting tactic says, that making a game out of it like ‘who toss the laundry into the basket, first’ can certainly bring better outcomes.

10. Schedule Frequent Unplugged Time To Enjoy With Your Family

Cook together, eat together, go biking. Whatever, the point is, relaxing together is truly an effective tactic to have long-lasting benefits.

Positive Parenting: A Take-Home Message

Positive Parenting is an effective parenting style suitable for raising kids with Caring, Empowering, Nurturing, Affection, Regular Open Communication, Emotional Warmth, Positivity, Supporting Child’s Best Interest & having Empathy for their feelings!

Considering the listed Positive Parenting Solutions, parents can approach their children with the role of teachers, leaders, role models with optimism & confidence. Applying these techniques, parents can develop strong, meaningful & deep relationships with their kiddos that will last for a lifetime!

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