Stranger Anxiety – What is It and How to Help Children Overcome it

Is your child afraid of unfamiliar people? If so, they are not alone; many children experience this. It is natural for young children to be scared of strangers. It is an important milestone in their growth as it helps the child learn to trust their instincts and their surroundings.

However, if you find that this stresses your child, there are ways in which you can help them cope with stranger anxiety and develop trust while they rely on their instinct.

What Is Stranger Anxiety?

Stranger anxiety is fear of unfamiliar people, and babies between the ages of 6 months and 3-year experience it the most. During this time, as their development process takes place and they learn to differentiate between familiar and unfamiliar objects, the hands or people who used to look familiar to them are now unfamiliar.

However, as the child grows, this stranger anxiety decreases, but if it coincides with the growth and development process of the child and the baby is unable to establish a relationship with others except their parents or experience anxiety till the age of 8 years, they experience stranger anxiety that needs attention as it can develop social anxiety disorder.

Why Does It Happen?

For young children, understanding the role of a stranger is difficult. For example, when you leave them with a Nani or babysitter, they have never seen or are uncomfortable with them. They cannot understand whether their parents will come or if they have left them. This makes the child fear the uncertainty also as the child cannot communicate and is unable to understand strangers intentions it makes the child more careers, and this immediate reaction is fear

Although it is a sign of a normal developmental stage, many children show science later, which gradually becomes a problem in their growing years.

Signs Of Distress Due To Stranger Anxiety

Experiencing stranger anxiety is normal as it is part of the development and process. However, if the intensity and duration of this stress are greater than expected, The child freezes in your arms, remains still, or gets frightened in front of a stranger.

These are some warning signs, and you should take action. Besides this, other common signs babies show are:

• They zone out
• Avoid eye contact 
• Clings to the adult 
• Cries in front of a stranger 
• Hide behind someone’s leg 
• Shows physical symptoms of anxiety 
• Are not ready to go anywhere 
• Run away into another room 
• Stay silent and sometimes throw temper tantrums

How Do We Help The Child With Stranger Anxiety?

When you take things slow, it becomes easy for the child to adjust and understand. So, the first step is to give the child a chance to understand what’s happening.

1. Build Relatability

When you know that a new person is about to come to your house or you will meet someone new with your child, try to familiarize them with that person. Show them pictures of that person if you have or can tell some incidentally fun stories about that person.

This will help build a positive association with that person even before they meet one another. As this association is built, it becomes easy for the child to connect with the stranger.

2. Tell Them What To Expect

You can give your child some hints about the person so that they can connect. For example –

• Your cousin also used to do such things when he was young. 
• He has brown hair, just like you, 
• You will find the same cookies as we have at John’s house 
• If you go to a doctor’s place or an office, tell them the other person will ask them to sit and converse with them.

3. Make The Other Person Aware

You can explain to strangers about your child’s anxiety and ask them to give your child enough time and space so that they can adjust to new faces and be normal.

4. Avoid Getting Anxious

You might feel anxious because you want everything to go well, but children can pick up the feelings of those around them. Therefore, try your best to stay calm and keep your anxiety under control.

5. Meet At A Familiar Place.

When meeting new people with your child, avoid going to places that are new to them. Your child will feel more comfortable when he goes out to places he is familiar with, such as their favorite park restaurant or relative place.

6. Provide The Assurance

To ease your child’s anxiety, you can speak in a calm and soft tone. Also, you can use statements like- 

• “Sarah is here. Let’s take some deep breaths together and say hello.”
• “If you are not ready, it is okay. Take your time, and you can start to get to know her when you feel comfortable. “
• “ It is your choice to be or not to be friends.”
• “I also get anxious when I meet new people at the office. I am proud of you for trying and being ready to meet new people.”

7. Take The Help Of A Therapist

Even after trying all that you can at home, if your child is still experiencing distress, it is advised to talk to a child therapist who can understand the issues your child is facing and can provide certain fun modalities so that stranger anxiety can be dealt with. Therapies include art or play.

Learn To Deal With Stranger Anxiety

Getting anxious around strangers is normal and is nothing to be afraid of. However, if you find that your child, even in later years, is feeling the same distress, build a support system with some positive association that motivates your child to understand that strangers are not bad. Provide them assurance, give them space, and do not push them. However, if nothing works, you can always connect to a therapist for support.