10+ Signs Of An Emotionally Immature Person And How To Handle Emotional Immaturity

Letting our inner child out sometimes can be freeing but behaving childishly all the time can turn annoying. Now imagine this kind of immaturity in a partner, spouse, or friend. Not a pleasant thought, is it?

Here, when I’m talking about immaturity, I’m not talking about physical or mental but emotional immaturity. Emotional immaturity is when a person lacks depth and knowledge of their emotions and feelings.

An emotionally immature person ofter struggles with communicating properly when it comes to emotions and relationships. They lack empathy and often fail to understand their partner’s or friend’s emotions and experiences.

These kinds of traits in a person can quickly be dismissed as quirky or slightly annoying but in reality, these traits can seriously impact a person’s social and romantic relationships. In romantic relationships, an emotionally immature person may often seem selfish, aloof, or childish.

Emotional maturity might develop differently and at its own pace, however, you can help an emotionally immature loved one by modeling emotional maturity, talking openly about emotions and feelings, or pointing out when you see them emotionally connecting with others.

However, before you decide on what to do, let’s take a look at the signs of an emotionally immature person and what you can do to handle their emotional immaturity.

Signs Of An Emotionally Immature Person

1. They Struggle To Open Up About Their Emotions

One of the most obvious signs of emotional immaturity is when your loved one struggles with opening up about their emotions. For an emotionally immature person, processing emotions can be overwhelming and might shut down if asked to talk about their feelings.

2. They Avoid Talking About The Future

An emotionally immature person often struggles with making plans for the future. And I’m not only talking about long-term planning. This kind of indecisiveness can involve planning a date night next weekend. If your loved one chooses to live in the moment than talk about the future, then it’s a sign of emotional immaturity.

3. They Avoid Going Deep Into A Relationship

If your loved one avoids connecting on a deeper level then it’s a sign of emotional immaturity too. They would rather stay on the surface level than put efforts to know one another. For example, your partner might change the topic of conversation when you ask them about their past.

4. They Make Everything About Them

Another sign of an emotionally immature person is that they will always make everything about themselves. They have a difficult time understanding that not everything revolves around them or is about them. If your loved one hardly pays attention to your problems or needs, then it’s a sign of emotional immaturity.

5. They Turn Away In Stressful Situations

In friendships or a romantic relationship, we want our loved ones to stay with us and support us through our stressful times, however, when we talk about an emotionally immature person, they are more likely to turn away from stressful situations as they don’t know how to support someone. In such cases, they’ll shut down or become distant to avoid involving emotions.

6. They Become Defensive Easily

When we talk about a healthy and mature relationship, people involved work through problems together, however, in a emotional immature relationship, the delicate balance is shaken. Even if you make a small comment, the emotionally immature person will become defensive and will try to act as if you hurt them.

7. They Expect You To Do Everything

A sign of emotional immaturity is when your loved one expects you to do everything, even when it comes to taking care of their emotional needs. They will expect you to pick up after them or plan for the future. Even if they do something, they’ll do it grudgingly and might make you feel guilty while doing the task.

8. They Don’t Like Admitting Their Fault

Another sign of an emotionally immature person is that they don’t like to admit their mistakes when they mess up. Sometimes, an emotionally immature person will try to blame others for their mistakes. They hardly accept their faults and mistakes.

9. They Like To Hold Grudges

Since an emotionally immature person isn’t able to manage and understand their emotions, likely, they will not open up and talk about their grievances with others. Holding grudges is a sign of emotional immaturity and can this behavior can eventually lead to resentment and failure of a relationship.

10. They Hardly Involve You In Decision-Making

In any relationship, both parties need to be involved in the decision-making process. However, when we talk about an emotionally immature person, they often fail to involve others in their decision-making, even if their decision would impact the other person.

11. They Are Unaware Of Their Needs

Being indecisive occasionally is okay but when a person is always unaware of what they need then it’s a sign of emotional immaturity. Some emotionally immature adults may take their own decision but some may need to rely on others for their needs. Such people are always indecisive and keep changing their minds.

12. They Are Prone To Emotional Outbursts

Another sign of an emotionally immature person is that they often experience emotional outbursts. An emotionally immature adult is unable to manage their emotions and might easily get angry.

13. There Is An Intimacy Gap In The Relationship

When you’re dealing with an emotionally immature person, you can feel lonely in the relationship – whether it be social or romantic. If there’s an intimacy gap i.e., lack of bonding with your loved one or lack of support and respect in the relationship, then it’s a sign of an emotionally immature relationship.

How To Handle Emotional Immaturity?

If you are now able to identify an emotionally immature person in your life, you can take these simple steps to handle their emotional immaturity:

1. Be Straight Forward With Your Communication

One of the simplest things you can do when it comes to handling an emotionally immature person is to bring their immaturity to attention. Let them know how their actions are affecting you and others around them.

You can do this by using “I” statements and at the same time, proposing solutions to them. For example, you can say; “When I do everything for you, I feel overwhelmed. Are there some ways you can contribute to the chores?”

2. Set Healthy Boundaries With Them

How long will you clean up after your loved one? It’s important for an emotionally immature person to understand that their actions have consequences and you won’t tolerate the unhealthy dynamic they’ve got going.

Set healthy boundaries with them, become more assertive, understand your emotional awareness, communicate openly and honestly with them, and learn to say no when needed. You need to put your foot down, now.

3. Reach Out To A Professional

One of the best ways to learn how to handle emotional immaturity is to seek professional help. The more you understand emotional immaturity, the more you’ll understand how to take care of an emotionally immature person.

If your romantic partner is emotionally immature, then you can seek help through couples therapy. In couples therapy, both of you can work together with the therapist in developing emotional intimacy.

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Emotional immaturity is when a person is unable to manage their emotions and take responsibility for their actions. If you resonate with the above signs of an emotionally immature person whether a partner, spouse, friend, or family member, you can always seek help from a professional counselor.

Keep in mind that you deserve love and support from a partner or friend who understands your emotions and feelings. If you feel lonely in a social or romantic relationship, then maybe it’s time to let go of those relationships.

I hope this article helped you understand signs of emotional immaturity and how to handle an emotionally immature person effectively. Let us know your thoughts in the comments below. You can also write to us at info@calmsage.com or drop us a message on our social media.

Take care!