Queerplatonic Relationships: Celebrating a New Definition of Love and Commitment

“Love is not something you find. Love is something that finds you.” – Loretta Young

I love the idea of Love. It’s such a beautiful thing – to love and to be loved. In this world where traditional notions of love live, there exists a beautiful spectrum of connection that defies labels and expectations and revels in uniqueness and a new definition of commitment. I’m talking about queerplatonic relationships. 

Queerplatonic relationships are a love story never previously envisioned – a story where love entwines commitment to forge a bond that transcends the traditional definition of romance. 

While this label of relationship might be relatively new, they are quickly gaining popularity as more and more people have begun to recognize how love and commitment can be manifested. 

So today, let’s take a peek into the colorful and diverse world of queerplatonic relationships, what they look like, and how you can see if you’re in a queerplatonic relationship. 

What is a Queerplatonic Relationship? 

A queerplatonic relationship is a close, committed relationship that is neither romantic nor sexual. Partners in a queerplatonic relationship share emotional, financial, and platonic bonds where they live together and support each other just like any other partner would but without the romantic affliction. It’s not necessary to have or experience romantic attraction in a queer platonic relationship. 

Queerplatonic relationships can involve two or more people of any gender identity or sexual orientation. One of the things you need to understand about this type of relationship is that these relationships, just like any other, are valid and real. Partners in a QPR love and support each other deeply and are committed to each other. 

Queerplatonic relationships examples can be; 

• Two best friends decide to move in with each other and share finances, offer emotional support, and just live together. 

• Two people who are emotionally connected might decide to support each other but not experience romantic feelings for each other. 

• A group of friends decides to enter a queerplatonic relationship so that they can support each other and raise their children together. 

Did you know that the term “queerplatonic” was coined in the early 2000s by members of Asexual communities? A-spec, as they are termed, are people who do not experience romantic or sexual attraction towards anyone, regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation. Queerplatonic relationships offer A-spec people a way to form close, committed connections with others. 

Every queerplatonic relationship looks different and there’s no right way to define one. Some relationships might involve physical intimacy while others might not. Some partners in a queerplatonic relationship might live together, while others may not. However, queerplatonic partners share finances, emotional support, and time. 

Signs Of Queerplatonic Relationships

Here are some signs that your relationship may be queerplatonic:

1. You Share Deep Emotional Commitment 

If you feel a deep emotional commitment to your partner then that means you care deeply about them and are invested in their well-being. You feel as if you can share anything with them and you trust them completely. You feel like you can rely on them for emotional support and understanding as well. 

2. It’s More Than Just Friendship

No, I’m not talking about “Friends with benefits” here. If you feel like your relationship is more than just friendship then it means that you feel closer to this person than you do with others – whether it be your other friends or family members. You share more with them – emotionally and practically.  

3. You Share Your Vision With Them

You feel like you can share your future visions and goals with your partner in a queerplatonic relationship. You feel safe in sharing your thoughts and feelings with them without fearing judgment. In this relationship, you are completely yourself and know that you can count on them if you ever need them. They are also the one who understands you completely. 

4. They Feel Like Your Family

Your queerplatonic partner feels like your family, especially if you’re raising children together. You and your partner feel like a team and if you ever need support, understanding, or help, you can count on them for it all. It feels like you’re in this relationship together – not as a romantic couple but more emotionally involved couple. 

Here are some examples of how these signs might manifest in your relationship; 

• You feel comfortable being physically intimate with them such as cuddling with them, holding hands, and kissing – but never feeling sexual attraction towards them. 
• You and your partner live together and share finances and a roof but might have separate bedrooms. 
• You and your queerplatonic partner make financial decisions together and feel excited to build a life together. 
• You and your partner support each other’s hobbies and interests as well as careers. 
• You and your partner spend time together including holidays and festivals with each other’s families. 

Resources for You…

If you’re in a queerplatonic relationship and are struggling with any of the aspects of your relationship, then it’s important to know that you can seek support and help from professionals. A therapist or counselor who specializes in LGBTQIA+ relationships can help you understand the aspects of a queerplatonic relationship and your individual needs and desires in your relationship. With the right help, you can develop healthy and effective communication to navigate a queerplatonic relationship. 

There might come a time when the lack of stability and structure in a queerplatonic relationship might make you feel anxious and fear abandonment. If that is the case, then know that you can seek professional help and support. 

You can also seek help and support from LGBTQIA+-affirming support groups – online and offline. For online support groups, you can look at; 

• The Trevor Project Online Support Center 
• Trans Lifeline Online Chat: A peer-run online chat service for trans people
• PFLAG Online Support: A moderated online forum for LGBTQ people and their families
• It Gets Better Project Online Support Groups 
• GLAAD Online Community: A moderated online forum where LGBTQ people can connect 

The Bottom Line 

Queerplatonic relationships might be the new definition of celebrating love and commitment. These relationships offer a unique way to experience deep emotional and practical connections at the same time without worrying about romantic and sexual attraction. Queerplatonic relationships challenge traditional notions of love and commitment and present a brand-new way to create a more inclusive society. 

If you are in a queerplatonic relationship or if you’re thinking about starting one, then good for you! I encourage you to celebrate your love – no matter how unique and unconventional it might be. Know that your relationship is valid and is a beautiful expression of love and commitment. 

Remember, “A life lived in love will never be dull.” 

I hope this blog helped you understand what a queerplatonic relationship is and what it looks like. Let me know what you think about QPRs in the comments below. 

Take Care and Celebrate Love!