Post-Marriage Depression: Most Ignored And Untreated Reality

Last Update on August 25, 2021 : Published on February 17, 2021

Aayushi Kapoor

Post-marriage depression is actually a thing and one of the most ignored and untreated realities nowadays. Post marriage depression is all about mood swings and after-nuptial blue that a married female goes through. Diana Kirschner, a famous relationship therapist rightly stated, “The whole process of getting married can be one of the biggest highs in the world, from the proposal to the planning of the party. That high can be so intense that when your wedding ends, it can cause a giant and unexpected emotional crash.”

The sudden mood swings make us guilty and it feels like we are an ungrateful monster in this psyched world. To understand this spiral of newlyweds, first of all, we need to figure out how to enjoy our newly married life. This blog covers the reasons behind post-marriage depression and how to overcome the post-bliss blues. So, let’s get started.

Related Read: What is Premarital Counseling

Fact Check: Post-marriage depression is highly observed in a country like India wherein culture comes before self-respect. Isn’t it that rude? This is a reality no one can ignore. According to a survey, around 30% of married women are physically abused wherein 12% are injured severely with bruises, burns, sprains, wounds, and whatnot. Additionally, 10% of 30% are the victims of domestic violence.

Reasons Behind Post-Marriage Depression

1. You Miss Planning

You miss planning

I felt disoriented after my wedding as before the wedding I loved spending time with my family and fiancé for wedding planning. Before two months of the big day, we kind of developed a routine… wake up, shopping, planning, running errands, sending invites, and everything.

My fiancé and I developed a strong bond during that phase. However, after the wedding everything changed and now we are back to a reality wherein we both go to work, have no time for each other, and that hurts!

2. We Never Plan The Next

As I mentioned above, I loved the planning part. I almost planned everything for our wedding. However, I never thought about what next. The day after I got married, I felt like now what… what next? It felt like I was living in a fairytale and now I am being thrown back to reality with a spouse and a lot of responsibilities. Trust me; this hurts because we both don’t know how to take the next step.

3. Missing The Attention

Missing the attention

Yes, I lived a fairytale for like a week, everyone treated me like a princess and I got everyone’s attention. And I think everyone loves to be in the spotlight. Living a hyped life freaks everyone out.

Additionally, everyone checks in on you regularly. After that, I felt like why am I not getting anyone’s attention? What is wrong with me? I felt so selfish that time and this resulted in guilt. And, it took a lot of time to be more grounded again.

4. Reality Hurts

As per me, getting married is not only an establishment of two souls together. Marriage comes with responsibilities also. After the wedding, you have to come back to the reality wherein you have to wake up early, do everyday work, return to the corporate desk, get back home, cook dinner, and this cycle has no end. In the beginning, going back to reality hurts, however, after some time it begins to feel normal.

5. Silence And Violence

Talking about this point is important as the numbers are high and we really need to spread awareness regarding this. Perpetual violence can make a female not want to engage in social activities and this makes the woman isolated.

This results in anxiety and stress which causes depression. People often label this phase as an “adjustment phase” wherein the word adjustment becomes female-centric.

Related Read: Dealing with infidelity in a relationship

Overcoming Post-Marriage Depression

1. Acknowledge The Feelings

While we try to get back to reality, we tend to ignore our feelings (which are wrong as it leads to more stress and depression). We need to acknowledge the feelings so that our mental health does not suffer anymore and we stress can be relieved from our mind.

Related Read: 10 Key Secrets to a Successful Marriage

2. Build Resilience

build resilience

Resilience is another way to heal and move further in your life happiness and peace. Resilience can save you from various mental health disorders. To learn about Resilience and GRIT, click.

3. Accept The Reality

Accepting reality and going back to normal is the only way that can help you overcome post-wedding blues.

4. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness can help you fight stress and anxiety. To practice mindfulness, you can take the help of:

5. Ask For Support When Required

If you’re still not able to go through this phase, consider getting professional help. Remember, asking for support is not a sign of weakness. To connect with a certified mental health provider from BetterHelp, click here.

Visit BetterHelp

Disclaimer: As BetterHelp Affiliate, We may receive compensation from BetterHelp or other sources if you purchase products or services through the links provided on this page.

I hope this blog helps you to learn about post-marriage depression in brief. Comment down and let us know which way you’re going to use for overcoming post-marriage depression. For more such content, follow Calm Sage on all social media platforms.

Thanks for reading.

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About The Author

Aayushi Kapoor

Aayushi is a Content Creator at Calm Sage. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Food Technology and a Master's Degree in Clinical Nutrition. Her constant interest in the improvement of mental health, nutrition, and overall wellness embarked upon her career as a “full-time educational writer.” She likes to make an asynchronous connection with her readers. Her mantra for living life is "What you seek is seeking you".