10 Personality Masks We Wear To Hide Our True Selves

In a world where you are judged for being your true self, what can you do except wear a mask and hide your true personality behind it? In psychology, this activity is referred to as “masking” and it is done to camouflage your real personality and behaviors to conform to societal norms and cues.

Wearing a personality mask works as a coping mechanism or as a trauma response that you adapt to protect yourself from rejection and hurt.

In an ideal situation, putting on a personality mask might protect your self-esteem and self-respect from being hurt, however, masking your personality can eventually lead to chronic stress, anxiety, burnout, emotional exhaustion, and even depression.

After all, aren’t you hiding your true self to conform to what we call, “Social pressure”? Let’s take a look at why we wear personality masks and what personality masks are common.

Why Do We Wear Personality Masks?

“Why do I mask my true self?”

Many reasons can contribute to us wearing masks to hide our true selves. Some of the common reasons can involve social discrimination, bullying, violence, rejection, and fear.

Masking personality protects you from emotional and mental harm. It also works to protect your self-esteem. In a situational context, masking can help us disguise our negative emotions such as anger, rage, and jealousy. This action can also help us adapt behavior that can shield us against rejection. For example; it’s common to wear a personality mask during an interview or a date to avoid being rejected.

However, masking your true self can eventually lead to existential exhaustion where you might forget who you truly are, leading to feelings of depression, loneliness, and anxiety.

The Personality Masks We Wear

The 10 most common personality masks we wear to hide our true selves can include;

1. The Victim Mask

You wear the victim mask to protect your self-esteem from getting hurt. You do not easily accept your mistakes and blame external factors for the same. Wearing this mask, you do not own up to your problems and failures.

2. The Bully Mask

You wear the bully mask if you’ve ever been a victim of abuse or bullying yourself. This mask protects you against self-doubt and allows you to be in control but keep others away as well. You may lash out physically or verbally to hurt others even if it is to protect yourself from future hurt.

3. The Humor Mask

Imagine Chandler from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. You use humor as a mask to avoid getting laughed at by others and to avoid the loneliness and sadness you feel. When you wear this mask, you laugh at yourself so that others won’t and your ego won’t be bruised. It also acts as a coping mechanism at times.

4. The Stoic Mask

If you pretend to be all calm and collected but never feel the same, then you’re wearing the stoic mask. You bottle up your emotions and show a facade that protects you from being vulnerable. However, this mask may prevent you from understanding and processing your emotions the right way.

5. The Perfection Mask

If you’re the one who always strives for perfection and tolerates no room for mistakes then you’re wearing the perfection or the overachieving mask. You wear this personality mask to gain external validation because your self-esteem depends on others and on being immaculate.

6. The Self-Deprecation Mask

If you always talk down to yourself and joke around about your weaknesses, then you’re using this personality mask as a defense mechanism to avoid getting hurt by others. If you already hate yourself, no one can hurt you or put you down then. It’s also a defense mechanism against low self-esteem.

7. The Avoidant Mask

When you wear the avoidant mask, you withdraw into yourself because you fear rejection, abandonment, or judgment. You avoid being in contact with others and distance yourself from your loved ones. All in the hopes that you won’t be rejected, hurt, or judged.

8. The Control Mask

This is another variant of the perfection mask. You wear the control mask to control everything near you, so you feel more in charge and less insecure. You may also wear this personality mask to take charge of a situation you feel may get out of your control and leave you feeling vulnerable.

9.  The People-Pleasing Mask

Another common personality mask we wear is the people-pleasing mask. You wear this mask because your self-esteem depends on validation and acceptance from people around you. Even if you don’t want to, you go out of your way to please the people around you as it gives you a sense of self-worth.

10. The Social Mask

Lastly, there’s the social or socializer mask that you wear to shield yourself from your insecurities and vulnerability. You wear this personality mask so that you can talk to others in a social setting. While you may easily communicate with others, this mask robs you of your ability to keep meaningful conversations and relationships with others.

Final Thoughts…

Personality masks are little things – words, actions, behaviors, and body language – that we engage in to keep ourselves safe from getting hurt, rejected, abandoned, and judged. We wear these personality masks to protect our self-esteem and self-worth. Understanding why you wear personality masks may bring you a step closer to discovering your true self.

Shedding your personality mask and accepting your true self in front of others might not come easy and there will always be people who won’t appreciate your true self, but despite those challenges keep going.

It will be OK. After all, it’s about finding people who will like you for you and not for the masks you wear.

If you need help understanding why you wear personality masks and how to let them go, you can always connect with a professional therapist or a counselor. A counselor can help you let go of your insecurities and develop healthy coping strategies to work through them.

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Take Care!