6 Myths of Happiness We Need to Stop Believing In

“Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ” ~ Nathaniel Hawthorne

For many of us, happiness is in simply sitting with our loved ones, for others it is in getting the grades they’ve been wanting, and for some, it’s in every little thing they encounter in life. But, that’s not the only thing. For many of us, happiness is an elusive concept that is always out of reach.

What happiness looks like for you, only you can grasp it. What I consider factors for happiness might not be the same for you and vice versa. Moreover, you may not always know if you’re truly happy.

One reason why that could lie in the lack of understanding of what happiness is supposed to be and how to gain it. This could also be one of the main reasons why we are so eager to believe in happiness myths so quickly.

Psychologists believe that many adults struggle with defining true happiness, and it’s not their fault either! Almost from the beginning, we’re taught that happiness is just one thing, but in reality, it could be something else. So where are we wrong when we can’t answer the question, “What is happiness?”

For the most part, it’s the myths of happiness that stop us from truly finding the source of happiness. In this blog, I’ll be debunking some of the biggest myths about happiness that you should stop believing.

6 Myths of Happiness: Debunked!

Myth #1: If you’re not happy, there’s something wrong with you

While it may sound counterintuitive, sadness truly changes your perspective. Positive or negative emotions can determine the level of happiness you can attain, but they are not supposed to stop you from being happy. When you see that you have to have positive emotions to be happy or vice versa, it engages your mind in a silent battle that blocks your normal emotional activity.

Happiness is not your emotions and neither are your emotions your state of happiness. So, when you feel negative emotions such as anger, hurt, disappointment, or even rejection does not mean that you are not happy or can’t be.

If you can’t find yourself being happy then keep in mind that there’s nothing wrong with you. Instead of pushing your negative emotions, embrace them. You should feel proud that you can brave through all the emotions – good and bad – without losing your happiness.

Myth #2: Happiness is a commodity

Some people believe that money, lavish parties, a perfect partner, children, or other superficial things can define their happiness. It doesn’t work that way. Happiness is not a commodity but an experience, a state of existence. Of course, excitement and joy are a part of it, but they are different from happiness.

You may feel fulfilled and content from attaining the aforementioned superficial things but believing that happiness comes from an external source will always keep you thinking about the future and give you something to chase. Happiness is internal and doesn’t come from chasing other things.

Myth #3: You can’t be happy if things don’t go your way

Another biggest myth about happiness is that you can’t be happy if things don’t happen the way you want them to. The truth is that nothing in life (at least most of the time) goes the way you want them to. So, thinking that you can’t be happy if things don’t go your way is putting conditions on your happiness.

No matter what happens, happiness is internal so that stays. You can safeguard yourself from thinking this way by practicing expressing gratitude regularly. It can give you a way to understand that you will be OK even when things don’t go your way.

Myth #4: You can’t have a happy future if you had an unhappy past

This is one of the biggest myths about happiness. – you can’t be happy if you had an unhappy past. Well, you can have a traumatic and unhappy past, but that does not determine your future or even your current happiness.

You can always heal and move on but saying that you can’t be happy because you were unhappy in the past also puts a condition on your happiness, stopping you from being truly free.

As long as you can be self-compassionate and self-accepting, you can always create a happy future even if you had negative experiences in the past.

Myth #5: Happiness, once gained, can last forever

Nothing in this world is permanent and that goes for happiness too. Debunking another big myth of happiness, it is to be understood that happiness is and always will be changeable – for good r for bad. Fortunately, you can always rewire your brain by changing your perspective.

With therapy and counseling, you can change the way you experience happiness and define it. Once you can change the way you look at or for happiness, you can create a domino effect for the better in your life.

Myth #6: Happiness is all about having a positive mind

Having a positive mind and attitude might change the way you look at happiness, but it does not mean having a positive mind is happiness. Happiness is a state of being, a state of existence. It’s a myriad of different emotions and experiences. Your purpose in life, the meaning of life – everything can encompass happiness. But it’s also not as fleeting as feelings.

So, when you’re happy, count it as a skill because it is. You can always learn to be happy, and it’s something you can build a habit with years of practice. The next time someone tells you that happiness is a state of mind, remind them that it’s not about the mind but about the heart that makes one happy.

So, what truly is happiness? Can you answer that question? If you ask me, I can’t because, after all, happiness isn’t something that can be defined. It just is or isn’t. What do you think? Do you agree or disagree with my view?

Let me know in the comments below. You can also drop me an email at info@calmsage.com or leave me a message on Calm Sage’s social media.

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Take Care!