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Happiness
Aayushi Kapoor October 18th, 2021 · 8min read

Obsessing Over Someone? Read These 16 Effective Ways To Stop It

I once dated someone. We were just getting to know each other. I started liking him and even started daydreaming about him. I used to wait for his messages, check my phone every minute. I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about him. I believed the feeling was mutual. I expected the same eagerness from his side.

However, when the expectations didn’t meet, I didn’t know how it was affecting my mental health. I realized that I was obsessing over him, which was not a good thing for me. Therefore, I started working on my obsessive thoughts.

Eventually, I got past the unrequited feelings. Here in this blog, I have listed some of the best ways to stop obsessing over someone.

16 Ways To Stop Obsessing Over Someone

1. Affirmation: You’re enough!

Ever thought about why you are depending so much on one person that has just entered your life. Think about your single life…how you used to live it…independent, happy, positive?

Understand that, you do not have to depend on one person and try to live your life as you used to live when you were single. Your relationship status has just changed, not the way you live your life. Therefore, remind yourself… You’re enough!

2. Nobody is perfect, we all are imperfectly perfect.

Feeling this way is common and feeling this way does not make you wrong or inhuman. When we begin to date someone, you don’t have to put yourself on a roller coaster ride.

Therefore, always remember who you are, you can make peace with yourself. You should never feel guilty for feeling this way and should always make the best outcome out of such situations. Additionally, always remember we’re all flawed and you don’t need to demonize yourself.

3. Keep cultivating your best qualities

Next time, whenever you find yourself clinging or obsessing over someone to impress them, remember that you don’t have to impress them or create interest from their side. Love is always better when it is mutual. Understand this and keep polishing yourself not for them. Your best qualities are going to make him/her fall.

Clinginess and possessiveness are going to make you guys fall apart. For example, suppose you’re better at understanding and making decisions than polish your qualities. Don’t let your qualities suffer in the surge of impressing someone.

4. Keep track of your obsessions and work on them.

How many times do you get over-obsessed when he/she does not reply on time? How many times do you get sad or angry when they talk about something else and focus on something else?

If you keep a record of everything, you can overcome your obsession. After keeping the track of your obsessions, you should look for possible changes within you that cause the obsession. By doing this, you will be able to polish your imperfections as well.

5. Gain control of your uncontrollable thoughts.

Whenever negative thoughts conquer our minds, they leave us numb and silent. For the sake of a relationship and to impress someone, you don’t have to keep your mental health at stake. It might look difficult to gain control of uncontrollable thoughts. You might need to look at some factors like “which destination you want to go to”?

The idea is to detach yourself from negative thoughts so that you can stop obsessing about him/her. To gain control of your uncontrollable thoughts, you can practice mindfulness meditation.

6. Productively plan your day.

Planning your day to avoid such negative thoughts and obsession can be a better idea rather than spending your day thinking about them. You can include exercises, yoga, or meditation in your day along with treating yourself with your favorite food or a favorite hobby. You can also practice self-love throughout the way.

7. Avoid blame-game

Whilst trying to stop obsessing on them, you should avoid blame-game in between. If they suddenly start questioning you, just try to be polite, calm, and peaceful. Do not try to play blame-game and try to avoid negative talk while communicating with them.

8. Weigh the qualities not time

When we begin to overcome obsessing, we might take the help of blame-game or underestimate their qualities. Don’t play that card here, be honest with yourself and appreciate them for who they are. If they are unable to give you the time you want, try to find out the reason, before blaming them. Maybe, the reason is you or maybe they don’t like your clinginess.

9. Pass on your humor about it

Think about a silly mistake you made in the past, doesn’t it make you smile? Similarly, when we obsess on someone, we don’t realize but later or sooner, such moments make us smile.

Therefore, just smile about the phase or moment and let it go. If they are meant to come, they will, otherwise you don’t have to force someone to be there for you. Additionally, you need to focus on the time you guys have spent together, if it’s worth it, you must wait for a good time.

10. Sad and scared is common

When we realize that we are obsessing over someone, feelings of sadness and fear come together. And, it does not matter if it’s common, you do work on this feeling. The feeling of sadness, loneliness, and being scared comes when we begin to depend too much on someone.

Therefore, wave off this feeling and read the below paragraph to learn how to stop the obsession with the help of a useful technique.

11. Begin with a new hobby

You can wave off the feeling of loneliness, sadness, and fear with the help of a hobby. Try to learn something new. You can try these below things if you do not wish to put the time into a hobby:

  • Learn a new form of dance
  • Listen to motivational songs
  • Watch famous Ted Talks.
  • Try swimming
  • Try nature cycling
  • Try water meditation
  • Cuddle with your pet
  • Attend yoga sessions
  • Create something artistic
  • Declutter your space
  • Add something new to your living area.

12. Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness is the art of living in the present moment. Do not spend your precious time daydreaming or day thinking; try to be present at the moment. Try to notice everything, live in every moment and do not let negative thoughts conquer your physical and mental health.

To practice mindfulness you can try:

  • Mindful coffee break
  • Mindfulness Tool-RAIN to deal with your overwhelming thoughts
  • Read books related to mindfulness
  • Trying 5-4-3-2-1 mindfulness tool

13. Keep the pedestal in your control

Your obsession is still in your control and it’s all in your head. This means such thoughts are controllable and the most important person is you right now. Take care of your mental health and keep your hands on the pedestal and do what it takes to love yourself more. Try to track your past relationships, think wisely, and act wisely.

14. Do not let someone else’s opinion bother you

Just because you are experiencing obsession, it does not mean your opinion does not matter. Observe your feelings, take your decisions wisely, and do not let others’ opinions peak in between. At times, your colleagues, friends, or mates may give you advice, listen to them but do not change your instincts due to such advice.

15. Surround yourself with your support system

Sometimes, all you need is a good listener. Therefore, call your best buddy, meet them, and try to vent it out. If you’re not in the mood of sharing your thoughts, just simply surround yourself with people who support you, and do not forget to hug them tight. Additionally, you can also join support groups in your locality.

16. Avoid overthinking

Overthinking plays an important role in our life, when we overthink excessively; it impacts our mental and physical health. Once you have gained control of your thinking part, you might make valid choices.

All you have to do is sit calm and do some self-talk about your life, purpose of life, and goals. It will help you in getting back on track and it will also help in moving on (if required).

That’s all folks! I hope this blog helps you to stop obsessing over someone.

Thanks for reading!

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