Why Do I Cry When I’m Mad? | Coping With Angry Tears

I have been asking myself this question for years now. Why do I cry whenever I am angry? I am putting my argument forward and suddenly my voice starts to shake, and I feel the warmth on my cheeks and everything that I am saying goes for a toss!

Does that happen to you as well? One moment you are furious and the other you are in tears. That’s even more frustrating than the thing that made you angry in the first place. You’ll know what I am saying if you’ve been there.

Talking about being in an angry tears situation, I am assuming that you are here to know why that happened to you. Well, we’ll do just that. Let’s get to know why you end up crying when you’re mad at someone or something.

Is Tearing Up While Expressing Anger Normal?

It is natural for us to cry when high intensity energy and emotions run alongside. Tears are emotional responses to any stimulus that is triggered by a range of emotions starting from happiness, joy, excitement to sadness, frustration and anger.

Whenever we cry or see someone cry, it’s always about the emotion right? Usually that emotion is of sadness, misery or tragedy. According to research, our brain and our tear glands do not have a direct connection. Therefore your brain doesn’t signal your tear glands that you’re sad and it’s time to cry.

Also read: Why Do I Cry So Easily? Understanding Your Sensitive Side

However, your brain does send a signal to your tear glands but it doesn’t depend on the situation you are in. You will cry when you are unable to contain your emotions. Any kind of emotion that you’re not able to keep inside of you will come out in the form of tears. Hence, there are sad tears, happy tears, angry tears, excited tears, etc.

Reasons You Cry When You Get Mad

By now you know that it’s perfectly normal to cry when you’re angry but why does that happen? What could be the reason behind this embarrassing situation our anger and tears conspire us to be in?

Here’s all you need to know about the cause of rage tears…

1. Feelings

The first and most obvious reason is the feelings involved. If you are angry with someone because they hurt you, disappointed you, or broke your trust, you will tear up. In a furious argument, you already are letting some of your feelings out and in the fit, an emotional reaction ought to flow out.

2. Oxytocin and Prolactin

Research says that oxytocin and prolactin can help in reducing stress by helping in decreasing the heart rate. When you are angry you do have a rush of adrenaline which definitely makes your heart beat faster. Research also says that tears release oxytocin and prolactin. You’re smart enough to make the connection between the two.

3. Brain Overload

Research also shows that when you’re really angry, then your brain can get too overwhelmed. Crying, then becomes, a release valve for all the tension you’ve built up in your brain and heart. In any case, when you’re too angry, there is too much going on in your head to think clearly, and to get a clear head, tears become an outlet.

4. Emotional Release

Getting mad often involves feeling hurt, frustrated, and at times, powerless. When you cry angry tears, it helps you let out those emotions — almost like a pressure release. Crying is an act of emotional release, so when you cry, you release everything pent up in your head and heart.  

These reasons are responsible for making you cry when you’re angry. Your feelings do interfere while you’re making a strong, furious argument. With that your body will always try to calm you down, hence when you are flushed with stress hormones, your body tries to protect you by releasing anti-stress hormones via tears.

Although tears do leave you embarrassed, they also indicate that you’re more than just angry. Or they are simply trying to tell you that you need to approach such stressful situations alternately.

Pay attention to your emotions, are you really angry, or you’re hurt? Is your anger riling you up so much that you can physically harm yourself? These are two serious questions you should be asking yourself rather than being frustrated about being teary-eyed in anger.

Also read: Why Am I Crying For No Reason? Here’s Why!

These reasons are basically responsible for making you cry when you’re angry. Your feelings do interfere while you’re making a strong, furious argument. With that your body will always try to calm you down, hence when you are flushed with stress hormones, your body tries to protect you by releasing anti-stress hormones via tears.

Although tears do leave you embarrassed, it also indicates that you’re more than just angry. Or they are simply trying to tell you that you need to approach such stressful situations in an alternate manner.

Pay attention to your emotions, are you really angry or you’re hurt? Is your anger riling you up so much so that you can physically harm yourself? These are two serious questions you should be asking yourself rather than being frustrated about being teary eyed in anger.

Coping With Crying When You Get Mad

You can cope with angry tears by implementing these strategies; 

• Take a moment to figure out why you’re angry. Knowing the source of your anger can help you manage it better. 
• Allow yourself to cry if you feel the need. Holding your tears back can make you feel worse rather than better. 
• If you’re in an argument or a heated situation, know that it’s OK to step away for a while to collect yourself. Just make sure to come back and address the situation again. 
• Don’t hesitate to reach out to your loved ones — family, friends, or therapist — to gain support and guidance in dealing with your anger and pent-up emotions. 

If you’re struggling to find help related to anger or anger management, then you can reach out to talk to a therapist. Seeking help and guidance from a therapist can help you make sense of your emotions and know how to rightfully cope with them. 

Also read: 7 Surprising Benefits Of Crying That You Did Not Know

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Final thoughts…

If you are confused and irritated that you always embarrass yourself in an argument because you end up crying, you must begin to focus on yourself. You need to look into your emotions and feelings.

You can try a few things when you’re angry. Try taking a walk, think about the points you’re going to make in the argument. Drink some water if your throat feels heavy or sit down and address your feelings.

I hope this blog helps you understand why you end up crying when you’re angry. It’s okay to cry when you’re mad but those tears are really trying to tell you something. Do comment down below about your teary eyed angry situation and what do you now think of it?

Thanks for reading.

Take care and stay safe.