Too Self-Centered? Here Are 8 Helpful Ways To Being Less Self-Centered

Have you ever been accused of being egocentric, selfish, self-absorbed, or a know-it-all? Or any other similar terms? Well, then you might be in the right place. Being called self-absorbed or self-centered can be a good thing for you as you’re in the center of attention but for others around you, it can be nightmarish.

What many self-absorbed or self-centered people don’t realize is their own egocentric behavior. One of the reasons for that is that they don’t believe they are wrong. Being self-absorbed in their ego, they are too far to notice their selfishness.

In simple words, a self-centered person believes that people around them do not matter and the most important thing in their life is to get what they want when they want, regardless of what others need.

Such behavior in any relationship – friendship, romantic relationship, or even work relationship – can cause people to pull away from the self-centered person. If you’ve been repeatedly told that you’re egocentric, selfish, or self-centered, then it’s time to understand how to stop this behavior to preserve your relationship with others.

Luckily, I have listed down below some of the helpful ways you can stop being self-centered or self-absorbed. Let’s take a look at them and the causes of your self-centered behavior.

What Causes Self-Centered Behavior?

Your actions are your own but there are almost always reasons for those actions. For example, let’s take a narcissist. If you look closely at their narcissistic behavior, you’ll see that there are certain factors such as genetics or environmental factors (toxic childhood or neglect) that justify their behavior.

Similarly, certain factors can also contribute to self-absorbed or self-centered behaviors. Did you know that self-centered people are often selfish because their needs aren’t met appropriately? For example, a child whose parents have been more or less absent during their childhood would learn quickly to fend for themselves. This experience can teach them that if they want what they desire, they have to fight for it themselves. Hence, their selfishness.

When you are in a place where no one is looking out for you, then you’re forced to meet your needs on your own. If this becomes a habit, then it can be hard to break. You can’t turn off a habit that quickly, can you?

So when a person whose needs aren’t met as they thought, circumstances can make them turn away from the world and care less and less about what others need. They learn to rely on themselves and do not care about what others think or feel about it.

While this behavior can cause their loved ones to pull away, it can take some time and effort to stop relying on oneself and being selfish. To stop being self-centered, a lot depends on how long the person had to rely on themselves. The longer it has taken them to suffer, the longer it’ll take for them to stop being selfish.

If you’ve experienced this and have been called self-centered for a long time, then there are steps you can take to stop being self-absorbed. Here are some helpful ways for you to follow.

How Do I Stop Being Self-Centered?

1. Treat Others Right

You want to be treated right? Treat others the same way. That’s the rule. Be self-aware of the actions you take and how you act toward others. If you want to be treated with respect and selflessness, then act the same way. If another’s selfishness annoys you, the same goes for others around you. Make sure you don’t do anything that upsets or annoys others.

Also Read: How To Deal With Toxic People

2. Understand Others’ Perspectives

Another trait of a self-centered person is that they are too focused on what they are feeling and do not care about what others are feeling. To stop being self-centered you need to understand others’ perspectives. It’s not all about you, after all. Everyone experiences things differently so try to look into a situation from others’ eyes. What you find interesting might trigger your companion’s trauma. Learn to put yourself in others’ shoes to curb your selfishness.

3. Involve Others In Your Decisions

You’re binge-watching the rerun of a sitcom when you feel like having a cup of tea. All good but instead of just getting up and making a cup of tea for yourself, ask around. Involve the others sitting watching the show what they’d like to drink. If you want to stop being self-centered then you need to make some efforts and let others in when making even the smallest decisions. One small gesture can go a long way.

4. Create A Balance

Undoing the self-centered behavior can take some time but you need to remember to take some time for yourself as well. You can’t give too much and be left with too little. Give time to care for your needs as well. If you fail to create a balance between being selfless and being selfish for yourself, then you’ll experience resentment and would feel like you’re being taken advantage of.

Also Read: 10 Simple Ways to let go of Anger and Resentment

5. Be Aware Of What’s Going On Around You

Even well-intentioned gestures can fall flat if you’re not aware of what’s going on around you. For example, you might think that giving your friend a surprise birthday party is a good selfless idea but if you don’t know that they’ve just been through a hard breakup, your well-meant gesture would do more harm than good. So to stop being self-centered, you need to be aware of what’s happening in your loved ones’ lives.

6. Go Slow And Take Small Steps

No one’s asking you to make the grandest gesture you can think of. Start small and go slow. Be aware of what you’re feeling before you try to understand others’ feelings. If you’re, for example, accustomed to making decisions in a relationship, then it’s probably a good idea to let your partner decide for once. This will allow your partner to feel welcomed and appreciated in the relationship. Small can mean a lot rather than big. Here, more than grand gestures, it’s the trust that matters.

7. Keep A Track Of Your Progress

Many people like keeping a track of the progress they make. This way can help you understand the patterns and take a look at the previous experiences to change the future. You can consider keeping a journal and keeping track of your new attitude and changes to your behavior. This will also allow you to make some other changes as well. Keeping notes can help you see how you have and can change further.

8. Seek Professional Support

If these above-mentioned ways aren’t working for you, then it’s recommended that you speak to a professional for the right direction and support. Many times, it can be difficult to understand where your self-centered behavior comes from so a therapist can help you here. A therapist can also help you come up with other, more relatable ways, to stop being self-absorbed and egocentric.

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Remember that others around you are also individuals with their own unique set of skills. They’re not assets that can give you the attention you desire and then be kept aside until you need them again. If you want to be treated right, treat others the same way. It’s only right.

I hope this blog helps you stop being self-centered and selfish. For more, you can write to us at info@calmsage.com or DM us on social media. You can also share your tips to stop being self-absorbed in the comments below.

Take Care!