Therapist-Approved Guide To Rekindle A Relationship: Re-Spark Your Connection Again!

Falling in love with the same person, again and again, feels so magical…isn’t it? Well, if you’re saying no… you might be struggling to rekindle or find the spark in your marriage or relationship. If that’s the case, don’t worry, we have got your back! 

One important thing that I wish to highlight here is… “The meeting of two different personalities can be associated with a contact of two chemical substances, if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” 

In short, when a relationship goes through a rough patch, both partners react differently, and situations change both partners differently. Strong relationships are those…who get through the rough patches with understanding, compassion, love, trust, and connection! 

According to our therapists, it’s normal to feel low or fewer sparks in a long-term marriage or a relationship. You can still work on rekindling a marriage or relationship with your partner by trying out effective ways. So, let’s get started! 

How to Rekindle a Relationship?

To make it easier and more understandable, let’s work out the important elements of a relationship such as intimacy, trust, love, communication, gratitude, and values. 

1. Rekindle intimacy in marriage/relationship

When it comes to romance, intimacy, making love, or sex… never underestimate the things that you or your partner do to keep the spark alive! If you feel like your marriage is fading or the spark is sinking, you can still rekindle your marriage by doing things that make your partner happy. 

Many people ask, “How to rekindle intimacy” …if your partner feels the pressure of having sex, you can try holding their hand or hugging them to help them relax. Sometimes, it’s important to take sex or intimacy out of the table and make love or romance to build a connection with your partner.  

On the other hand, if the spark is quite low, you can bring your intimacy game to the table to amplify your married life. 

• Show gratitude towards your partner and allow the relationship to grow emotionally. 
• Plan ahead so that you both can feel excited and anticipated
• Build emotional intimacy first and work on emotional availability towards each other. 
• Talk openly about general dissatisfactions, personal challenges, and mental stability. 

2. Rekindle faith in marriage/relationship

Disagreements, arguments, criticisms, and negative viewpoints in a relationship or marriage are normal. They often provide us with a chance to understand our partners better. They might not show up in the beginning, but they are highly seen in the phase where disagreements begin, such feelings can often build negativity or resentment towards your partner. 

If that’s the reason behind your concern, it might be helpful to write out your feelings in a journal along with solutions. Whenever you’re done, sit comfortably with your partner, and discuss them so that both of you can get a chance to rekindle your relationship. It is one of the best ways to rekindle a struggling relationship. 

• Talk openly and mindfully about your past challenges. 
• Know your boundaries, set them, and build positive relationships together. 
• Be responsive towards general discussion, talk about each other’s feelings, and actively acknowledge the issues. 
• Let your partner understand that they can trust you and can have safe and healthy communication anytime they want. 

3. Rekindle communication in marriage/relationship

Relationships or marriages are often motivated by the excitement of forming a new connection. To keep the spark alive, you have to keep on doing things that make your partner happy. If texting, calling, or checking out makes your partner happy, you must do it to rekindle your marriage. But make sure to be present in the present and actively listen to your partner to naturally increase the spark in your relationship. 

Non-attentive or dismissive conversations are one of the major problems in a long-term relationship or marriage; it looks like we are uncaring. If your marriage is falling apart, one of the best ways to rekindle your broken marriage is to have a real talk with your partner and communicate what’s bothering you. 

• Promote a safe and healthy environment for conversations and open doors for feedback, suggestions, and new boundary settings. 
• Appreciate your partner for opening up their heart, accept their issues, and work on building self-esteem in your relationship for strengthening. 
• Establish respect, kindness, and trust to open the doors of deep conversation. 
• Practice empathy to make the conversations more comprehensible. 
• Clarify misunderstandings and expectations to deepen your connection and rekindle your relationship with your partner. 
• Everyone has their own communication style, understand theirs and reflect. 
• When emotions elevate, know how to comfort each other. 

4. Rekindle values in marriage/relationship

The key to a successful marriage or relationship is to be aligned with your partner’s values and respect them. When you both start respecting the values, you bring big changes to the relationship. Besides fighting against each other… start fighting for each other so that you can build a strong connection together. Here’s your guide to talking about your values in a relationship to rekindle your bond.

How to talk about your values in a relationship 

Along with this, it’s also important to set boundaries to save a struggling relationship. 

• In order to respect each other’s values, try not to use cuss words, name-calling, raise your voice, behave violently, and go off-topic.
• It’s a fact that when couples feel less respected, they are not able to communicate their issues openly. Therefore, treat each other with kindness and respect. 
• Build a mutual respect environment through caring. 

5. Rekindle gratitude in marriage/relationship

One of the easiest ways to rekindle a relationship is to acknowledge and reflect on the things that your partner regularly does. Make gratitude a regular practice and keep on appreciating your partner to elevate positive emotions.

Research shows that regular gratitude is associated with happier, more satisfied, positive, stronger, and thriving relationships. To express gratitude regularly, you can try writing a personal note, card, or email. Or, you can just simply remind them that you feel lucky to have them in your life! 

• Lack of gratitude is the main element behind a successful relationship, therefore, express your feelings whenever you feel intimate. 
• Never take each other for granted and make time to practice gratitude so that you can rekindle your relationship even stronger. 
• Revise your issues, start practicing compassion, hug more, and be grateful for your relationship. 
• Build gratitude organically, by listing 5 best things about your partner. 
• Share gratitude notes together. 
• Remember things that make you feel happy today about your relationship together. 
• Find a TV show or movie that relates to your love story. 
• Make small gestures and remind your partner, “I admire you”, “I love you”, “I miss you” and others. 
• Appreciate little things that matter in a relationship. 

Are you Too Tired to Rekindle a Relationship?

If you and your partner feel that you’ve already done enough to reignite the spark in your relationship, it might be time to reconnect and re-establish trust and respect in your relationship. Additionally, you can also connect with a couple therapist to strengthen your relationship or rekindle your relationship with your partner. 

Working on your Relationships can be overwhelming. Help is Always There 

Visit Regain Counseling

Related Read: Everything you need to know about Couple Therapy 

I hope this blog helps you rekindle your marriage or relationship. Comment down and share your views on the same. For more such content, connect with us on all social media platforms. 

Thanks for reading!