Dealing And Recovering From A High-Conflict Divorce

If you ask me “what exactly is a high-conflict divorce?” I would say a high-conflict divorce is where the marriage ends and the war begins. Not only wars, but children also suffer a lot during this whole process. It is quite emotional to see your children suffering due to all the mess.

For the sake of their children, most of the couples work out by themselves and take the help of alternative solutions like collaborative divorce. But for those who end up in litigation with a settlement or trial, it can be really overwhelming or depressing.

This emotional coaster ride results in chronic stress and impacts our mental wellbeing. This blog covers how to deal with and recover from a high-conflict divorce efficiently without impacting your mental health. So, let’s get started.

Traits of a High-Conflict Personality

Some people are good at moving through the divorce process, somehow easily cope with the situation and heal after some time. However, some of them get stuck in their lives due to war and emotional breakdowns. Some of the signs of highly-conflicted personality are:

• Always blame others
• Causes physical, financial, verbal, or legal attack
• Rigid or unmanaged emotions
• Over-thinker
• Extreme anger
• Narcissistic
• Stuck in the past
• Defends their own behavior
• Talk without listening to others
• Destructive behavior

Ways to Deal and Recover from a High-Conflict divorce

Once you have identified that you are dealing with high-conflict divorce or personality, don’t worry there are ways that will help you deal with it. Clearly, you can’t change how others think about you but you can choose how to react to a particularly toxic situation. Below are some effective ways to deal and recover from a high-conflict divorce:

1. Don’t Stand Accountable for Their Behaviors

At certain times, they are going to blame you for everything, and their destructible behavior is going to hurt you. Herein, you have to stay strong and do not let them make you accountable for their behavior. It’s them who are following such toxic behavior; you do not have to blame yourself for all of this.

2. Do not Become Their Target

It might happen that they might make you target and abuse you. Do not let them do that; instead, fight back for your rights. If they are still doing it, simply cut off communication with them.

3. Do not fall for the Traps

Since they are still stuck in their past, they might try to hurt you or try to make you fall in their traps. If they are doing something wrong with you, you have to disagree with them and change your ways.

4. Do not Let Them Play You

There are chances that they will try to manipulate you by challenging your abilities. In such cases, learn to guard yourself and identify their patterns whenever they try to play you.  Once you have learned how to recognize them, stop them then and there.

5. Do not let Them Bully You

You really need to start setting boundaries as they might start bullying you. Do not escalate their behavior and try to end the conversation. Try to talk to them in a constructive manner when required.

6. Recognize Their Patterns

When you keep engaging with them, you will really need to control them by exercising anger over you. Therefore, you will need to recognize their patterns so that they can no longer manipulate you.

7. Keep your Children Away From all of This

If you have children, it’s highly recommended that you keep children away from this narcissistic behavior. It might impact them in many ways, therefore never argue in front of your children.

8. Do not Become a Part of Social Media Shaming

They might try to devastate your strengths on social media, therefore, try to stay away from it as much as you can. If possible, block the entire medium so that they can’t abuse you on social media.

9. Learn to Move On

You really need to learn to get go of things that might turn you into a toxic person. Playing the blame game won’t take you anywhere, instead, it will depress you. It’s okay to take your time to grieve but in the end, you will have to say the last goodbye to your relationship no matter how long it was.

10. Ask for Help When Required

Throughout the process, if you feel like talking to someone or wish to express your emotions, you can always seek professional help. Advice from mental health professionals will help you to go through this positively without impacting your mental health.

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I hope this blog helps you to deal with and recover from a high-conflict divorce. Comment down and share your experiences in dealing with a high-conflict divorce. For more such content, connect with us on all social media platforms.

Thanks for reading!