Doorknob Confessions: Why Do We Confess At The Therapy Door?

Have you ever done this thing where, at the end of a conversation, you keep a hand hovering over the doorknob, ready to leave, when an important piece of information unexpectedly bursts out? This has happened to me, and let me tell you; it is as uncomfortable and nerve-wracking as it sounds. 

Fortunately, now I know what these situations are called! These at-the-last-minute confessions are known as “Doorknob Confessions” and these are surprisingly common, especially in therapy. But what are they exactly, and why are we so fond of blurting out these truth bombs at the last minute? 

If you’re intrigued enough to learn more about door knob confessions, then keep reading to know what they are, why they happen, and how you can avoid these last-minute confessions. 

What Are Door Knob Confessions? 

Typically, a therapy session is for an hour, and for this entire hour, you sit and meticulously dissect your thoughts and feelings. As this hour-long session wraps up, and you reach out for the door, a bombshell drops. Maybe it’s a deep secret you’ve held in your heart for years, a recent transgression you made, or a sudden bout of emotional vulnerability. 

In any case, this sudden disclosure, right before you walk out the door, is the core of a doorknob confession. 

These door knob confessions in counseling are emotionally heavy and might need exploration, but these last-minute truth bombs are revealing and challenging for you and your therapist. 

Some common examples of doorknob confessions can include; 

• After being hesitant your whole session, you finally admit to having self-harm thoughts as you’re about to walk out of the room 
• After being in therapy for marital concerns, you confess to an affair that you haven’t dared to mention before 
• You, on your way out of therapy, reveal a childhood trauma incident you’ve kept secret for years 

Why Do We Confess At The Last Minute?

While there are reasons for doorknob confessions, some common ones can be; 

1. Hesitance to Vulnerability 

Throughout the session, you get closer to a sensitive topic of your life, building the courage to address it. At the end of the session, the emotional dam breaks, which leads you to suddenly disclose something you’ve kept close to your heart for a long time. 

2. A Fear of Judgment 

The weight of the confession can be overwhelming, which can lead to a postponement of the same. The fear of being judged by your therapist can hold you back from talking about this moment until the very last minute of your session. 

3. Attention Seeking 

While not always, these last-moment confessions might just be a subconscious attempt to extend the session or gain attention and immediate support from your therapist. Again, this is not always the case, but some people take advantage of these last-minute confessions for their gain. 

4. Avoidance

Doorknob confessions can also be a way to avoid processing your feelings. You might want your therapist to learn something from you, but at the same time, you’re not ready to express or process the information. This hesitancy can also cause last-minute confessions. 

Is It Okay To Have Door Knob Confessions?

While door knob confessions in therapy might disrupt the flow of your session and leave limited – to almost no time – for a proper conversation, these confessions can also indicate a step in your therapeutic process. They might show your growing sense of trust and a willingness to confront difficult feelings and truths. 

Doorknob confessions are a common phenomenon in therapy and therapeutic settings. Therapists understand the complex emotions that cause these last-minute disclosures. Your therapists are trained to address these confessions with empathy and ensure that there are no hard feelings between you and them. 

Can We Avoid Door Knob Confessions?

Doorknob confessions can be uncomfortable and emotionally heavy. They might have an air of “unfinished business” around them. While there’s nothing wrong with these disclosures, you might learn to avoid them if you’d like a deeper understanding and attention to a particular topic. Here are some ways you can avoid making a doorknob confession; 

1. Communicate with your therapist 

You can work on discussing your anxieties and insecurities with your therapist about sharing sensitive or vulnerable topics before the session begins. This can allow your therapist to create a space where gradual disclosure of your deepest feelings feels safe. 

2. Plan before you speak

If a topic feels uncomfortable and overwhelming for you, then bring it up in the session early. Letting your therapist know you wish to talk about something can pave the way for a more structured session and eventual exploration of your feelings, thoughts, and situation. 

3. Journal your confessions 

You can also write down your thoughts and feelings before your session. This can help you organize your thoughts and emotions, and prepare yourself for a more open and productive therapeutic session. 

4. See if it’s a pattern 

Take some time to notice if door knob confessions are a pattern of your communication with your therapist. If it’s a pattern, then you can talk to your therapist about it and explore the causes behind such actions. This can help you understand your needs and underlying motives for last-minute disclosures. 

5. Consider your therapy medium 

I’m asking you to consider your therapy medium because most people are more honest and open when they are in an offline session with their therapist, while others find online mediums easier. Offline therapy confessions might give you a more direct idea of your last-minute confession tendencies, while online therapy confessions can feel safe because you’re in the comfort of your home. 

Wrap Up… 

Doorknob confessions, while unexpected, can be a turning point in your therapy. These last-minute confessions highlight the vulnerability in seeking help and confronting difficult themes. Knowing what causes these doorknob confessions and incorporating effective communication techniques, you and your therapist can work together to move forward from these situations productively and professionally. 

Hopefully, this blog will help you understand what door knob confessions and why we love to confess at the therapy door. Let us know your thoughts about the article in the comments below. 

Until next time, take care!