Mini-Guide: Dealing With A Conversational Narcissist

A good conversation is the gist of developing a healthy relationship. When we share a bond with people, we tend to have mindful conversations. However, for some people, the process of developing healthy relationships might look challenging. Some people intentionally take over the spotlight of communication; you’ll always find such people talking about themselves, draining everyone.

People who make everything about themselves and talk miserably and annoyingly are known as conversational narcissists. Such people with narcissistic traits are tough to manage. In this blog, we will learn how to deal with conversational narcissists effectively.

So, let’s get started!

Who is a Conversational Narcissist?

Conversational narcissism is a form of narcissism that makes every talk about them. You’ll rarely find them engaging with people; they completely dismiss others’ opinions, thoughts, and life concerns, and tend to focus on themselves.

Signs of a Conversational Narcissist

Below listed are some of the common signs of a conversational narcissist:

• A constant interrupter between conversations
• Tend to talk about themselves always
• A constant opinion inserter without even knowing the topic
• Not an engaging personality when the talk is about others
• Fails to ask others about their opinions, ideas, life, concerns, and others
• Not an active listener
• Not a great reactor or responder when it comes to other’s news
• Master at bringing the lead back to them
• Often brag about their achievements or accomplishments
• Overlooks social cues

How to Deal with a Conversational Narcissist?

A conversational narcissist is often a loved one, a best friend, a family member, or a colleague. Therefore, disowning them is not an option. It’s also a fact that half of conversational narcissists are not aware of their manipulative or toxic behaviors. Therefore, try the below-listed tips to deal with a conversational narcissist:

• Understand the root causes: If you really care about your friend or loved one who has been showing narcissistic traits lately, it’s important to understand their root causes. For example, maybe they are insecure about something, or maybe they are socially anxious. Understand the root cause behind their behavior.
• Initiate an honest conversation: Directly telling a conversational narcissist about their behaviors might not be a good idea. However, you can take the help of real-life examples to make them understand. After exploring their root causes, try to comprehend the situation similarly so that they can understand and ask for your support.
• Avoid blame-gaming: Once you understand the main reason behind their behaviors, avoid coming out with blame-games to steal the spotlight. Instead, make them practice self-awareness.
• Make them understand: During the conversation, they might not be able to understand entirely, therefore, guide how their relationships are getting impacted because of their controlled behavior and how they can still save their relationships.
• Support them with empathy and respect: As I mentioned, all conversational narcissists are not narcissists but they are the by-products of some root causes such as insecurity, social anxiety, ADHD, and more. Therefore, support them during this phase and practice empathy and compassion towards each other throughout.
• Comprehend your intentions: During this phase, they might also develop negative feelings about themselves, protecting them from such negativity. Herein, you can comprehend your intentions towards them so that they can feel supported and acknowledged.
• Provide a cure as well: Conversational narcissists are often our loved ones or friends only, breaking relationships, disarming them, or silencing them won’t provide a solution. Instead, you can become their guide during this phase and provide healing to them as well so that they can understand their problematic behaviors and avoid becoming the by-products of their causes.
• Guide them: If they are socially anxious, recently diagnosed with a mental health condition, or poor at communication, be their guide and teach them practically. This way you’ll be able to promote gentle healing and positivity around.
• Practice acceptance: Sometimes, it’s hard to change someone’s personality, therefore, practice acceptance, you can’t change everyone. People are sometimes aware of their actions and behaviors, if they know about their behaviors, let them do their thing.
• Draw boundaries: If you’re not able to change them, focus on maintaining your sanity, and draw personal boundaries with them so that you can prevent yourself from their manipulative tactics.

Are conversational narcissists actually narcissists?

A conversational narcissist can be anyone around you, a co-worker, your best friend, a loved one, or other people. Such people are not actually narcissists but they often show narcissistic traits that are tough to handle.

Conversational narcissism is not actually a mental health disorder term but it’s a term used to refer to folk who are keen to talk about themselves only. Such people also lack empathy towards other people and they know how to blame, manipulate, or gaslight others.

What are the causes of becoming a conversational narcissist?

The fact is that half of the conversational narcissists actually are not aware of their behavior or in some cases; they lack people-pleasing skills which is not easy to accept or change. Research shows that conversational narcissism is also rooted in insecurities, low self-esteem, social anxiety, poor communication skills, undiagnosed ADHD, and pure ego.

How does conversational narcissism impact relationships?

Good and mindful conversation builds healthy relationships, meanwhile, toxic, one-sided, and manipulative conversations lead to poor relationships. When people are able to share and discuss their ideas, opinions, thoughts, and experiences with their loved ones, they feel understood and respected.

When conversations are monopolized, people feel a lack of empathy, respect, and active listening. As a result, people often stop bonding with conversational narcissists as they always aim for better, stronger, and healthier relationships.

Am I becoming a conversational narcissist?

If you think you might be becoming a conversational narcissist, the first step is to understand your root causes. After exploring your root causes, you will be able to find better solutions to your problems. Moreover, you can take the help of active listening skills, learn techniques of mindful communication, and prepare yourself socially.

What makes a conversational narcissist stop talking to you?

Conversational narcissists are not actual narcissists however; they carry narcissistic traits which ask them to seek control over conversations. When you intentionally or unintentionally ignore the talks of a conversational narcissist, you tend to snatch their urge to control everything. As a result, they understand you’re not their catch and eventually, they stop talking to you.

How does a conversational narcissist react to silence?

As mentioned above, narcissists seek control and when they are not able to find control, they tend to ignore and isolate people who are not under their control. Conversational narcissists generally don’t like people who do not listen to them and in their minds they have already abandoned you because they know the control has already slipped away.

I hope this blog helps you understand who is a conversational narcissist and how to disarm them. comment down and share your views on the same or you can also write to us at Calm Sage.

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Thanks for reading!